Write on Wednesdays - First Paragraph Re-written

This weeks Write on Wednesdays prompt was:

'Write on Wednesday Exercise 14 - The Mighty Mighty Rewrite...

Zanni: I did a workshop with literary author Mj Hyland, who teachers Masters in Creative Writing at Manchester University. She asked us to choose our favourite book, take the first paragraph and then write our own content into the paragraph, keeping the structure, tone, language etc. It's really helpful! '

The book I have chosen for the exercise is The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, By Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows.
My version of the first paragraph is first, the original is below: 

8^th January, 2011

Mrs Kate Wilkinson,

Throsby St,

Exeter, NSW

Australia

Dear Kate,

Peter Simmons is a wonder. I really didn't think that Henry would even turn up to the appointment, let alone be positive about it when I talked to him. But much more exciting from my point, was the fact that he seems to be more up-beat this week since the appointment. He has been getting out of bed by 8am, none of this laying around until mid-afternoon; and even starting to show a bit of joy and interest in things he used to find pleasant. We even went for a picnic in the the forest last weekend. I can hardly believe the change in him! Peter managed to convince him to meet up with some old friends, and Henry has made an appointment for another session with him next week. Henry has always been so against the idea of therapy, but it seems to be making such a difference already. Do you suppose that this time he might get better for good? I scarcely want to let myself consider the idea. 

The original first paragraph from the book is:

Mr Sidney Stark, Publisher, 

etc...

...

...

Dear Sidney, 

Susan Scott is a wonder. We sold forty copies of the book, which was very pleasant, but much more thrilling from my standpoint was the food. Susan managed to procure ration coupons for icing sugar and real eggs for the meringue. If all her literary luncheons are going to achieve these heights, I won't mind touring about the country. Do you suppose that a lavish bonus could spur her on to butter? Let's try it - you may deduct the money from my royalties.

Wordless Wednesday - my mind is holidaying in Europe

Joining in wordless wednesday with Faith, hope and a whole lotta love

The Path Less Travelled

I have been blogging on another site, where I have been trying to do posts of a holiday we had two and a half years ago. We were living in England at the time, and got a good last minute deal on a two week Mediterranean cruise. I have been wanting to document this for the boys, as they were only 3 and 6 years old when we went on it, and I would like to help them have as much of a memory of it as possible.

This is one of the pictures that I just came across, that I am fairly sure my husband took, probably of a sunrise. Not enhancement of colours, no filters, this is pure.

This is the stuff dreams are made of.

I sometimes, during the drudgery of day to day life, look at other families and feel like I should be 'keeping up with the Jones', ie, that we should have bought a house by now.

But when I look at pictures like this, I realise that we have just made different decisions.

Our journey has been a scenic and winding one. 

I don't regret any of it. I feel privileged to have had so many choices and opportunities, and for us to have chosen to take the path less travelled.

I hope that I manage to live the rest of my life like this. 

What about you? 

What are some of the really special memories you have?

What are some of the things you have done that have made no financial sense, but you wouldn't trade for anything?

Down, Down

Have you ever been waiting (for what seems like an eternity) in the 12 items and less queue at a supermarket, that happens also to be the check-out closest to the 'service' desk, when someone starts waiting at the 'service' desk? And instead of you being served, the check out 'operator' serves them first?

Seeing as this has happened to me many times, I am assuming that it is not just me, and that it in actual fact happens fairly frequently.

Now, I know that most of us are probably glad that some of the major supermarkets have 'service' checkouts for the times when something might go wrong, like buying out of date products.

However, most of the people I see at the 'service' counter, are in fact buying cigarette and tobacco related products.

OK, ok, I am trying really hard not to make this a rant.

But....

I happened to go to a major supermarket last night at around 6pm to buy some bread. I had a toddler with me. She was getting hungry and tired. I had 3 bread items, and joined the 12 items or less queue. A while after we had joined the queue, a man (I'm guessing in his 50s) appeared at the service counter. The check-out attendant finished serving the customer in front of me and then served the man at the service counter. He bought cigarettes and a lighter.

I actually didn't feel cross about someone being served in front of me in this way, because it has happened countless times before. It is just how they do it.

But it got me thinking, and I couldn't help think that it was wrong. That a man alone in his 50s buying a cancer causing, addictive, luxury item would get priority over a mother with a toddler buying bread on a Sunday night at dinner time.

I know they can't 'afford' for staff to solely attend the service counter, they barely seem to have enough staff to serve on the registers, but why don't people buying cigarettes have to line up in the queue? 

Am I being a bit petty in feeling that this is an issue? Or do you think that people buying tobacco related products should have to join one of the regular lines, even if they are only buying cigarettes?

Honestly, I would love if they also served milk and bread from the front counter, so I didn't have to line up. Or maybe chocolate for that late night craving? It might even make me buy more..

Write on Wednesdays - A great one liner

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 13 - A Great One Liner...This week you need to come up with one good line to describe a part of your day. It can be 'real life' or fiction. But it must tell us 'who did what'. It has to be an amazing line, like a tiny little paper plane that must travel a big distance (figuratively speaking) with only a few folds ... Every word in that line must earn its place, or be cut as excess baggage. Let's get thinking about each sentence as though every word counts, like working one group of muscles to show how much weight they can carry. 


My one line -

She grasped her swollen belly and crumpled to her knees in despair onto the cold bathroom floor where her husband lay lifeless with a trickle of blood at his temple, gun still in his hand.

* If you are interested in a bit of a follow up of last week's WoW (not done as a writing task), you can find it here

Wordless Wednesday - Mostly Black and White

 

Other wordless wednesday posts can be found here and here 

'Which Brazilian would Madam like for lunch today?' - aka 'Exposing my Inner Prude'

Who knew there was a menu!?

It's no secret that I am a bit of a prude. I like to think of it as being 'Genetically Repressed'. I come from a long line of Prude's. We find it hard to swear, show warmth, express our emotions, and definitely don't want to talk about anything to do with sex. Some of my family members don't exhibit this genetic tendency as much as others, and some of us try to hide it, but it is definitely there in my family history. 

This is one of the reasons why I found it so difficult to get a Brazilian, and why it was so out of character. 

It is also the reason why it was so important that I did. 

I got a Brazilian when I was 28. For some reason I thought it was really important to do before I was 30. As though my body would wither up like a dried grape the moment I turned 30. I am now 32, and haven't gone back for a second one. 

However... I am so glad I did. Despite the excruciating pain, and humiliating embarrassment, it put me out of my comfort zone, which was important.  And wonderful.

I find in life, I nearly always choose the predictable, conservative (easy), path. There is not necessarily anything wrong with this, but when I do something that puts me out of my comfort zone, I feel the most alive, and happiest. 

I like to use my own photos on my blog posts, but for some reason couldn't find an apt photo for this post in my collection (I wonder why!), so went searching on the web. Who knew there was a whole menu of Brazilian choices? Wow, I almost feel tempted to challenge myself to try them all.

Do you find that forcing yourself out of your comfort zone is a good thing?

What is the thing you have done that has most outside your comfort zone? How did it make you feel?

Have you ever had a Brazilian? After reading my posts, do you think you would?

point + shoot - camelias + ice + rocks

zander finds cool shaped rock

molly may caught eating ice under the camelia bush

Rocket and Molly May eating ice and hopefully not too many camelia petals.

the rocket places a pink petal behind his ice and magically creates 'pink ice'

ice and petals is SO much fun!

* Yes, that would be my children playing in the camelia bush and eating the leftover ice that has been thrown into the garden. They have no standards when it comes to ice.

playing along with point + shoot with Sunny + scout