Write On Wednesdays Exercise 13 - A Great One Liner...This week you need to come up with one good line to describe a part of your day. It can be 'real life' or fiction. But it must tell us 'who did what'. It has to be an amazing line, like a tiny little paper plane that must travel a big distance (figuratively speaking) with only a few folds ... Every word in that line must earn its place, or be cut as excess baggage. Let's get thinking about each sentence as though every word counts, like working one group of muscles to show how much weight they can carry.
My one line -
She grasped her swollen belly and crumpled to her knees in despair onto the cold bathroom floor where her husband lay lifeless with a trickle of blood at his temple, gun still in his hand.
* If you are interested in a bit of a follow up of last week's WoW (not done as a writing task), you can find it here
Now that has to be the start of a story Sannah, I want to know what happens next!
ReplyDeleteFreaky, that made me shiver. Powerful words you found there. Great work!
ReplyDeleteGosh Sannah. That image is so vivid. I was really moved by that.
ReplyDeleteAnne xx
Wow - powerful image. Her swollen belly got to me! What on earth comes next? You have used just a few words to pose hundreds of questions, great work. I'm off to read your follow up to last week!
ReplyDeletex
This is a good one! I've read three tonight and each have painted such a vivid picture in just one sentence. It does grab you and drag you in. Sometimes though, it is probably the unknown, the what happens next, that makes the stand alone line so powerful. This exercise reminds me of something I read about Ernest Hemingway a long time back about when he was challenged to tell a story in only six words. He replied with, "For sale: baby shoes, never used."
ReplyDeleteGood work! I read the bit about the task being "real life" or fiction and wondered which you'd choose. I read the swollen belly bit and thought "cool you're having a baby" but then read the rest.....chills!
ReplyDeleteWhat an image that created out of such a small sentence. Amazing!
ReplyDeleteOh my word! I would definitely read more.
ReplyDeleteGoodness! Dark, sad, and still intriguing. This is a great opening line for a story.
ReplyDeletethis is a great line sannah. i am intrigued but with great sadness.
ReplyDeleteYes, what a great first line! Or is it the last line? I don;t think there is any wasted words there!
ReplyDeleteOh wow! What a powerful line. I just had shivers reading that. Very sad and dark but amazingly written.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I've just nominated you for a Versatile Blogger award, to receive it just pop over to my blog and check it out. xx
You've packed so much punch into this sentence. I hope you write more of their story.
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