Wednesday, 14 September 2011

Write on Wednesdays - First Paragraph Re-written

Write On Wednesdays

This weeks Write on Wednesdays prompt was:

'Write on Wednesday Exercise 14 - The Mighty Mighty Rewrite...
Zanni: I did a workshop with literary author Mj Hyland, who teachers Masters in Creative Writing at Manchester University. She asked us to choose our favourite book, take the first paragraph and then write our own content into the paragraph, keeping the structure, tone, language etc. It's really helpful! '

The book I have chosen for the exercise is The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, By Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows.
My version of the first paragraph is first, the original is below: 

8th January, 2011
Mrs Kate Wilkinson,
Throsby St,
Exeter, NSW

Dear Kate,

Peter Simmons is a wonder. I really didn't think that Henry would even turn up to the appointment, let alone be positive about it when I talked to him. But much more exciting from my point, was the fact that he seems to be more up-beat this week since the appointment. He has been getting out of bed by 8am, none of this laying around until mid-afternoon; and even starting to show a bit of joy and interest in things he used to find pleasant. We even went for a picnic in the the forest last weekend. I can hardly believe the change in him! Peter managed to convince him to meet up with some old friends, and Henry has made an appointment for another session with him next week. Henry has always been so against the idea of therapy, but it seems to be making such a difference already. Do you suppose that this time he might get better for good? I scarcely want to let myself consider the idea. 

The original first paragraph from the book is:
Mr Sidney Stark, Publisher, 
Dear Sidney, 
Susan Scott is a wonder. We sold forty copies of the book, which was very pleasant, but much more thrilling from my standpoint was the food. Susan managed to procure ration coupons for icing sugar and real eggs for the meringue. If all her literary luncheons are going to achieve these heights, I won't mind touring about the country. Do you suppose that a lavish bonus could spur her on to butter? Let's try it - you may deduct the money from my royalties.


  1. I'm unsure whether you wrote these, Zanni wrote these, or whether each of you wrote one...or is one from Guernsey etc?
    F: can't sign in

  2. OOps: just read that the 2nd is the original. Did you write the first? It's very good.

  3. I was a little confused too (until I read it properly:) about who had written which version.

    I can honestly say that although you changed the content of the letter completely you somehow managed to keep the style and flow so well that even knowing which is which I could easily believe that they had both been written by the same person.

    Really good job

  4. Thank you SO much for your responses! I'm sorry it was confusing as to which was mine, I was in a bit of a rush :)
    I have changed my post a little (not the WoW exercise), I am hoping it is a little clearer now.

  5. I really like your version. It's well written and intriguing, you've done a great job!

  6. You did a great job. I really enjoyed reading these

  7. Liked yours better than the original! The language was just great :)

  8. Oh this was just what the exercise was about. Your own content but told in the way/flow of the original. It was about branching out into a new and different style. Great work. What an intriguing story you wrote, I could have read more. There was a lot of detail given to us but in a nice, gentle way. WONDERFUL!

    Gill x